DeWanda Wise enjoys her time off between a rigorous filming schedule as she tells me of her Christmas plans with family and friends over the coming weeks. Growing up in a working-class family in Maryland I listen as she tells me it’s good to be back on the east coast being closer to her mum and others who she cherishes as her support system. With an early childhood straddled between an urban and rural environment, being brought up primarily by her mother, Wise spent key moments of her childhood at her Grandfather, a Methodist minister, junkyard.

Following her parent’s divorce around age five, Wise often found herself at church, a community she attributes alongside her mother as a pillar of importance in her life. Full of insight, even at the tender age of five, Wise explains how she knew that her mother and father shouldn’t have been together. It’s something she’s learned, that awareness of others and her environment is crucial to her knowledge of herself. Having always had a sense of direction on who she is and what she needs for herself, a born performer, she laid down her creative foundations by singing in the county choir. In the choir, she tells me she discovered the language of love, something she often refers to when prioritising her mental health. As a self-confessed sensitive child, Wise describes herself as porous in absorbing emotions, sobbing while singing in the pulpit at church “No one there knew what to do with my emotions. It was kind of something I naturally understood about myself. People often don’t think about how to maintain their mental health, especially at a young age. It’s the same as thinking I should exercise. It’s the same process. I think it should be something you think of daily or at least a weekly practice.” Growing up, Wise’s mother was integral to this firm belief in prioritising her mental health. “My mom was such an integral component to that because there was no stigma or judgment around me environmentally. It just wasn’t in the house. She knew she had a sensitive kid and was always willing to figure it out with me. She was always listening.” Wise seems aware of how enormous that was for the time, as her mum continued to set an example of being open when taking care of her own mental well-being. “As a single mum, you can only hide what you’re dealing with so much from your kids. She struck as fine a balance as she could between being vulnerable herself but not making me feel responsible. My relationship with my mum is something that I really, really cherish.”

It’s these pivot relationships Wise has drawn upon all, be it juxtaposing for the relationships her character Sloane portrays in her upcoming role for Three Women. Based on the nonfiction bestseller by Lisa Taddeo, the adaptation is an intimate portrayal of American female desire with the characters trying to radically change their lives. It’s a role Wise undertakes confidently, solidified by her mental health journey. Wise opens up to me about the energy it takes when feeling like you have to advocate for yourself all the time, something her character knows all too well about.

“Where I’m not working, I love and need my breaks. I need seasons where I don’t have to constantly advocate for myself.” Playing roles where women are deeply misunderstood must be mentally tricky. “I think I naturally gravitate towards them. It’s catnip for me. I think the transparency stems from my desire to be understood, accepted, and loved for who I am.” As we move into the Christmas season, Wise questions the pressures women often find themselves in around this time of year. “I always question, especially right now when we’re in this kind of very punitive and petty season, where you can and must do no wrong.” It’s clear to see the curiosity Wise has about the boundaries of unconditional love, especially for women, bringing us towards the topic of shame and how we, as women, tend to move through it. Wise questions how badly can we fuck up or figure things out before we’re punished. “I’m constantly questioning what it means to live a life that might make people a little more uncomfortable, or that might not resonate with how they express themselves or how they live their life, but it’s not necessarily good or bad?” It seems she’s searching for the answer to ‘what does it mean to move through your shame or, at the very least, how do we live without that self-judgment. “What does it mean to live and feel free in and of yourself?”. She tells me that’s what resonated with her after reading the script for Three Women and how our portrayals of misunderstood women.

“I think Jenna Ortega, who played Wednesday Addams talked about this. Anytime you’re playing a character that makes people feel uncomfortable, you have to advocate for them every step of the way. Playing Sloane, a character that can come across in some respects as a mean, Wise feels for her “she’s automatically misunderstood and requires protection. That’s part of your job as an actor, but it’s also part of what comes naturally for me because I’m a voracious protector.” As a program that covers realistic aspects of life, I ask how those on set felt facing head-on difficult and triggering subjects while advocation for those characters.